Approach

I offer what I like to think of as a traditional talk therapy, where you are at liberty to talk about whatever you want for as long as you want. My experience is that many people find this process grounding, and there’s enormous evidence for the effectiveness of counseling generally. It seems like one gets the sense of what is happening and what to do about it. Even when things are going well, there’s appreciation. Insight is also a natural result of doing this. I get to understand who I’m talking with better the more I listen, and one usually gets a better sense of themselves the more they they hear themselves talk.

I tend to work with people on a longer term basis, paving a course through changes and lifestyle transitions.  However, the time frame is not that important to me.  I'm perfectly happy to work with you for however long you find it helpful.  Everything, from how long we talk to the subject matter itself is entirely up to you.

Couples interested in counseling can benefit greatly from having a forum for completely open and honest conversation. The simple act of meeting and talking on neutral ground with an unbiased mediator allows for a sense of space and security to talk about things that would normally be too awkward or emotionally charged. The point is to come in and speak your mind about your relationship and then listen to your partner share their point of view. It’s a way of practicing good communication. It’s something that you can take with you and use in your everyday lives.

Most couples enter counseling with a basic commitment to the relationship. Sometimes it can take a while to express that commitment, and sometimes people need some time to build up the courage to say they do not want to be in the relationship. Whatever the outcome, the important point is to get clarity on how strong the foundation is and build from there. There’s no point in trying to convince someone to invest in their relationship if it’s not something they really want. But to the extent that both parties share in some basic commitment, there is always hope for a loving and productive union.

I ask people interested in substance abuse counseling to try to avoid using drugs or alcohol during the course of treatment.  Whether you decide to do this is up to you, naturally, but I’ve found it useful to try. This gives us an opportunity to talk about what it's like not to use, or if you do decide to use, why.   

Substance use is not a moral issue, I don’t believe.  It can have ethical implications, if others are affected by your use. But there are many examples of perfectly happy people who use responsibly and in moderation.  Whether or not you use substances, or how much, or in what circumstances, is entirely up to you.  The goal of counseling is to reflect on your relationship with substances and decide what you like that to look like.